Attracting what you want to attract
If you believe in the so-called Law of Attraction, then you believe that you attract whatever your dominant thoughts are. This is difficult since we don’t consciously know our dominant thoughts. They happen below the level of conscious thought. The first step in attracting the desired things, people, and events in our lives is taking inventory of invisible scripts. Things like: “I’m not worthy of…,” “I’m not very good at…” and turning them into scripts that serve you, like: “I deserve to be happy,” and “I learn quickly.”
Recipe for improving competitive skills
Once you know the fundamentals of a sport or craft, you’ll need competitive partners in 3 categories: those that are better than you, those that challenge you, and those you’re better than. You’ll be forced to up your game and constantly strive by training with better people than you. You’ll reinforce your skill set by challenging yourself with those at your level. And you’ll be able to teach those you’re better than. And teaching reinforces your learning more than anything else.
Taking care of yourself and others
You can take good care of others while still taking good care of yourself. There are plenty of compassionate, helpful, nondestructive ways to keep others warm without letting yourself on fire. Take it from a lifelong codependent.
Attracting what you want to attract
If you believe in the so-called Law of Attraction, then you believe that you attract whatever your dominant thoughts are. This is much more difficult than it seems since we don’t consciously know our dominant thoughts. They happen below the level of conscious thought. Before you can attract the desired things, people, and events into your life, the deep work starts with you. First, take inventory of your invisible scripts (“I’m not enough”, “I’m not very good at…”), and then turn them into scripts that serve you.
Mindfulness in simple terms
After years of studying experts and practicing mindfulness meditation, I’ve synthesized some of the wisdom into a few sentences that make it simpler, more understandable, and (I hope) more approachable to those who may be interested but still confused. Mindfulness is simply observing “what it’s like to be you” in…
A question to get us through…
Reflecting on important questions is one of the most powerful things we can do to get us through difficult emotional times. The reactive part of us makes us feel like we’ve been the victim of some wrongdoing (and perhaps we have). One great question that forces us to focus on our own accountability is this: “How am I complicit in creating the conditions I say I don’t want?” (quote by Jerry Colona)
Man (or woman) in the mirror
Two great quotes — the first a Michael Jackson lyric, and the second a story from one of Anthony de Mello’s books that remind us to be accountable and to BE the change we seek. I’m starting with the man in the mirror; I’m asking him to change his ways And no message could’ve been any clearer; if they wanna make the world a better place Take a look at yourself and then make a change To a disciple forever complaining about others, the Master said, “If it is peace you want, seek to change yourself, not others. It is easier to protect your feet with slippers than to carpet the whole of the earth.”
A new perspective on social anxiety
“It’s not people’s job to show you what’s interesting or great about themselves. It’s your job to find it. This is life, not a sales convention.” — Mark Manson Mark makes the point that curiosity is one antidote to social anxiety. It’s almost impossible to seek to discover who others are while simultaneously worrying about what they think of us. My brilliant friend Stu tells his children rather than trying to be interesting, be INTERESTED in others. This fosters great relationships. They’ll inevitably find out how interesting and impressive you are.
On communicating better
Unless it’s a revelation for you that “communication is the key” to relationships of any kind, it’s not useful without context on how to communicate in a healthy way. Here are details on just a few things I’ve learned from my personal communication failures: - Fear of consequences or aversion…